GUILT

I don't know why I am feeling guilty all of a sudden for not keeping up my blog, even though I have been back from my trip back home for a little over three weeks. I am back to my normal routine, getting ready for the cold, no snow yet (thanks god ) but still quite cold, back to work and the daily grind of working away at your desk. Having to leave the house at 7:20 a.m when it is still dark and returning home between 5:30 and 6:00 when it's dark again, but I have managed to overcome this feeling of darkness by looking forward to spring and summer which is quite beautiful here in the prairies.
My eldest son is still giving me grief by not wanting to keep up with his schooling and I am trying not to give up on him. I know that he does not realise that what he is doing will affect all his life for the next coming 50 years or so, he is still too young to comprehend that the bad choices we make early in life and which appear simple when we are young will actually be what we live in our future . I am trying to make him see that what he is doing is not right and that he has no right to give up his education just because he doesn't feel like studying. My boss told me to take my son for a drive in what is known as BUM town here, and let him see for himself what the bad choices can lead to, or else to threaten him that if he doesn't continue his school I will throw him out. Of course throwing him out is not even an option, I dont think I as a mother can actually do it , because I think that for someone who has been coveted all his life, to find that kind of freedom it will just make him loose whatever last bit of mind he has. I have told him repeatedly that I understand that as a young man he needs to feel independent, but even in independence we have rights and obligations but of course I think he is just standing there without even listening to what I say, but I have to keep on trying.
Hopefully, he will come to his senses when it is not too late.