GUILT

I don't know why I am feeling guilty all of a sudden for not keeping up my blog, even though I have been back from my trip back home for a little over three weeks. I am back to my normal routine, getting ready for the cold, no snow yet (thanks god ) but still quite cold, back to work and the daily grind of working away at your desk. Having to leave the house at 7:20 a.m when it is still dark and returning home between 5:30 and 6:00 when it's dark again, but I have managed to overcome this feeling of darkness by looking forward to spring and summer which is quite beautiful here in the prairies.
My eldest son is still giving me grief by not wanting to keep up with his schooling and I am trying not to give up on him. I know that he does not realise that what he is doing will affect all his life for the next coming 50 years or so, he is still too young to comprehend that the bad choices we make early in life and which appear simple when we are young will actually be what we live in our future . I am trying to make him see that what he is doing is not right and that he has no right to give up his education just because he doesn't feel like studying. My boss told me to take my son for a drive in what is known as BUM town here, and let him see for himself what the bad choices can lead to, or else to threaten him that if he doesn't continue his school I will throw him out. Of course throwing him out is not even an option, I dont think I as a mother can actually do it , because I think that for someone who has been coveted all his life, to find that kind of freedom it will just make him loose whatever last bit of mind he has. I have told him repeatedly that I understand that as a young man he needs to feel independent, but even in independence we have rights and obligations but of course I think he is just standing there without even listening to what I say, but I have to keep on trying.
Hopefully, he will come to his senses when it is not too late.

AT LAST

That's it ! It is confirmed ! I am finally packing and going on my long awaited trip back home to Libya. The timing couldn't have been more convenient, since winter is fast approaching here the chance to get much needed heat and sun couldn't have come at a better time. My problem is to decide on what to pack ! I wonder if I will have the chance to enjoy some time at the beach ? anyway too many questions and too many last minute things to do, but Sis looking forward to seeing you ! I don't know if I will have time to check my emails or do any blogging but will try .

HAPPY EID

I guess that after being away for so long and not wishing everybody a Ramadan Mubarak , I should at least make amends and wish everybody a Happy Eid.
I have been extremely busy this whole summer, with my parents visiting, the boys out of school, my full time job, etc etc , anyway I hope that with winter coming I will be back to my normal pace. I have a tiny hope in my heart that I will get the chance and travel back to Libya even if it is just for a couple of weeks. I really need to go , even though I saw most of my family here I feel that I should go, I want to have time out with my friends, relatives and just to walk around Tripoli. Hey sis I really miss you and the baby, she has really grown and that last picture you sent was just georgeous. HAPPY EID.

BREAK ? YES ? NO ?

Sometimes it is better not to take a break ! My 1 month break which I had planned and booked well in advance to travel back home to Libya, did not happen, or rather my homevisit did not happen. Since my mother came to visit , my father came as well and we decided to take the vacation here in Canada instead. Everything went well, lots of excursions and events going on, so we decided to take the train for the coast to coast experience. It was a 24 days trip with stops along the way and the chance for us to visit my sister and her kids in Montreal. The train trip was great , we saw lots of beautiful and breathtaking spots, it really is one of the best vacations I have taken even though the sleeper cars are not that comfortable but anyway on our way back the VIA rail decided to go on strike and left us stranded in Winnipeg. They offered us alternatives, either fly or travel by coach. We decided to use the coach since it is also a chance for us to finish our sightseeing, but now that I am back at the office I think I need another break. The weather is still gorgeous and we still have a couple of weeks to go before Ramadan so I hope we can fit in more activities before we start our winter hybernation and I guess I will have to travel to Libya some other time maybe before the year end. I have been so looking forward to going but better late than never.

DISGUST

I really am disgusted at the way some bloggers have been voicing their frustrations and inability to cope with their individual situations and blaming it on either the Libyans as a whole or the country or everything and everybody except the actual cause. To say that the streets are littered with garbage shouldn't really be a problem because it is something that we all have to deal with and can see, not to like libyan food or any other food is also not a problem because it is a personal taste, like who can eat monkey brain ? raw fish ? barely hatched eggs with the chick inside ? frogs ? horse meat ? dogs/cats ? snakes ? the list goes on and on but like I said everyone is free to eat what they want and what they are accustomed to , but does that give us the right to say that because they eat something we don't like they are dirty ? they are smelly ? of course not.
The site name should be changed from all libyan blogs to all libyan haters blog. Once that is done then us LIBYANS WHO LOVE LIBYA (with its smelly food and people and garbage ) would gladly continue to blog on the all libyan blogs site and not have to worry about reading a new insult !
Blogging does not mean you can always be positive, but it does mean that you should respect others. To discuss negative aspects is not wrong but it should be done to find solutions and ways to deal with issues, I personally would love to see that people are made aware of these problems and how they can solve them, but by being sarcastic and insulting I don't see it happening. We can all start by changing ourselves and our immediate circle and then like a puddle it will enlarge itself to include everybody.
Now having said all the above , it really is time for us to be constructive and not destructive.

MONEY WORRIES

Just talking about money gives me a headache. It is amazing how living in what is known as an industrialised country is stressful. Even if you make enough money by working you end up with less than 25% of it at the end of the month. Let us start with the taxes before your money even hits your bank account, then it is time for rent, car and insurance payments, power, utilities, credit card, gas, and last but not least groceries. Now you barely have a couple of hundreds in your account and you think okay now I can maybe have a break and go out somewhere or invite some friends over, but reality soon sets in that you better not because of the economic situation and what is going on and how businesses are doing really bad, and the downsizing of the employees and that you might be out of a job ! Every body is gloomy, and I thank god that at least it is summer and the weather and sunshine is free to be enjoyed by all, but imagine if all this gloom carries on into winter what it would be like !
Like I said it is summer and the weather is amazing, so some positive thinking will go a long way.

TIME FLIES

It's amazing how time flies sometimes and how slow it is some other times, but I guess it is all relative to what a person is going through. I appreciate the advice I was given by the fellow bloggers about boys and how they should be handled, and I have actually come to an understanding with my son that I was only concerned about his future meaning his academic and professional development being my main concern and that I wasn't against him enjoying being a teenager , so I hope INSHALLAH that he will sort himself out.
My mother has finally arrived and we have decided that the best way to enjoy her visit was to do what the tourists do, so we set up a program with all the interesting places to see and go to. We are doing okay so far, the weather is improving, we are enjoying some nice spring sunshine and temperatures ranging between 1 and 10 degrees allow us to do lots of outdoor activities ( we had some snow ) but it was only for a couple of days so there was no build up and it melted away. I did not take time off from work even though I wanted to but I am saving it for my trip back to Libya in summer and my mother said that it was okay with her to stay home in the morning and catch up on some sleep. The boys get home before I do and they like it that lunch is always ready and the house smells of delicious food and it is a chance for them to act responsible and sometime take grandma shopping downtown until I join them on my way from work. So all in all we all needed this . My mother's first impression of Canada was WOW this country is really huge, and according to her even if the population of the whole world comes to settle in Canada it won't be enough, there will still be lots of space. It is not just the wide open spaces, but the monster trucks, the cars, the malls and the food portions as well. One person's serving equals a serving for 2 or more in Europe , as well as the giant burgers ( she just can't get over it ) .
I am enjoying this time very much and thank god for this beautiful time and may Allah bless all mothers !