BOYS

I would like some advice/feedback from the male bloggers with regards to my dilemma. My son who is or should I say was doing really well at school seems to have decided that being in senior high means that he is done with studying and it is time for him to enjoy himself.
I am and try to be a mother and a friend at the same time, because I found out really early that parenting wasn't an easy thing. I try to discuss most topics with my boys and keep an open mind, and I make sure that I am not judgemental so imagine my surprise when the first thing I see this morning in my inbox is an email from my son's teacher/advisor informing me that my son is being late for classes, his marks are slipping, and that something is not quite right and of course it is her duty to let the parents know. I of course freaked out and called her on the spot even though I know that we are not supposed to do that and call only during lunch time or arrange for a meeting by email, but of course I just couldn't stop myself, so I called her and apologised for disturbing her but of course she told me she couldnt talk as she had class but will call me back when possible. I sat around for the next couple of hours trying to concentrate and complete my work but it sure wasn't easy, but anyway she did finally call me .
Apparently my son who is 17 , is just not paying attention in class anymore, texting and receiving messages on his phone when he is supposed to have it on silent and not use it in class, (but they are allowed to bring it to school with them for safety reasons), and of course giggling when reading the messages and just not giving a hoot about what is going on around him, so of course in cases like this the parents are notified. She thinks all this has to do with a girl he started hanging out with !
After thanking her for letting me know , I sat in my office trying to figure out a way to approach this problem, but I finally gave up . I usually pride myself on finding solutions for most problems but in this case I really dont know what the best approach would be, that is why I would really appreciate receiving feedback. I know this is a phase he has to go through and that it is not a big deal but for him to let it affect his studies right from the beginning this is what is bugging me. I am ready to choke him , but of course I can't, I have been going through different scenarios in my head but they are all just too not realistic, and I feel that I am just too emotionally involved in all this and not thinking straight. Of course saying this doesn't solve the problem , I try to think how I would react if it happened to someone else but I couldn't come up with a solution because I am too worked up. I am thinking that maybe I will think of something in a day or two but I can't imagine myself sitting around and not saying or doing something for a day or two, so if you bloggers out there care to help me out , I sure would appreciate it.

VISIT

My mum has finally agreed to come over for a visit, she arrived last week but is staying over at my sister's place for some time and then will be flying out to stay with us. My kids and I are so excited we have made all sorts of plans already. I just hope that the weather improves or at least doesn't get worse for us to enjoy our outings. My youngest son thinks he should be the tour leader because I get in late from work , so he should take care of his grandma while I am at work. Well I guess I will just have to wait and see how he copes but I am sure he will do great , since like they say,
like MOTHER like son ! or at least my version of the saying.
Shahrazad, I am waiting for my Basboussa, (this is one of the sweets) I love , so please hurry up and show me the steps. Thanks in advance.

LOVE

I woke up this morning quite decided to be in love with the world !
This decision is for me to judge if by loving everybody and everything my day will be smooth sailing so to speak. So when waking up at 6:10 a.m, I got ready first, switched on my coffee machine ( which I fill the night before ) prepare breakfast, then wake up the kids, it is now around 6:30. The young one jumps out of bed and dashes into the bathroom, I let him have about 15 minutes then I start waking up the eldest one. He of courses only wakes up when my voice gets louder and I start trumpeting, after I pull off all his coverings he rolls out of bed and of course if he walks towards the bathroom and the door is closed then he knows his brother is in there and he starts questioning about the sense of me waking him when I knew that the washroom is actually occupied. So of course that is another reason for him to start moaning, but of course this morning I decided to ignore him and start to tidy up a bit . I completely ignored him and managed to be out of the door at 7:10 to take my young one to his school bus stop which is just down the road. I get there, stand around until 7:29 thinking that the bus is not going to show up so I decided to go back uphill to the house and just drive my son to school. When I am about half way up, huffing and puffing down comes the bus and of course we have to retrace our steps running so as not to keep the bus waiting ! Now I have to go back up the hill to the appartment to pick up my bag and drive myself to work, but what do I see as soon as I open the door, my eldest sitting or should I say reclining on the sofa, drinking a smoothie and watching TV. After standing there for I dont know how long (with my mouth hanging open of course ) I ask my son what is going on and he replied as cool as can be that he was waiting for me to drive him to school since he knew that I wasn't taking the bus because I have to do some grocery shopping on my way in from work. Since my decision was not to blow my cool I simply said no to him and walked away . I think he was more shocked than I was when I saw him, but of course that didn't stop him from moaning and complaining, but I just told him that why should he even think that I will drive him when I just took his younger brother to the bus stop, I give the same treatment, I don't differentiate and that was that ! If he wants to go to school he knows the way to his bus stop and that he has to go because there is no way I would let him stay home, so after much muttering under his breath , he finally opens the door and leaves . GOOD, now after all this and I am still deciding to keep loving the world.
I go down to the parkade, get in the car, leave the building and start on my way, of course it being around 8:10 the traffic is just horrendous, and there is a rollover and trafic is only allowed in one lane so what used to take me 20 minutes stretches into 45 minutes, but guess what I have the radio on , and still decide on being smiley. I am sure the other commuters were wondering about my big smile, or maybe they thought I was on my cell phone I don't know but I just kept smiling away. Got into the office, started the daily routine , kept smiling but I have to say that by noon I thought my jaws have locked and what started as a smile soon became a big grimace of pain. Well that decided it for me, NO MORE SMILING ! I will just revert to my old self , in comes one of my coworkers who is quite nice and asks me what is wrong ? I of course am puzzled and want to know what she means , so she said I saw you come in this morning with a big grin but now you seem to be in pain ? So this is the last straw , from now on no more smiling around for no reason, smile only when necessary or something funny is being told. Believe me trying to love the world apparently isn't easy, do you think it is because we just have too much going on , or is it because of our daily grind, or that smiling for no reason is just not done any more ! I guess Toba really explains it !!!

April 1st

Today at the office we were told to make sure that our PC's were off once we leave the office, and not to switch them on tomorrow until the IT guy tries to access our company's server on a separate laptop, and all this because of the threat of the new virus, and this made me remember when the Computer world lost it on the eve of the year 2000. Back then nothing happened, so lets hope that this is another hoax.
I have a great interest in food, and I appreciate it, but unfortunately it seems that everytime I like a place the first time, my second experience is never quite as pleasant as the first, I don't know if it means that I should diversify and not go to the same place more than once, but that will cut my choices and narrow down my options, or whether it is because I am a perfectionist and when I go out to eat I want it to be really exceptional, of course I am not talking about the regular Pizza, sandwich or burger, but rather the sit down restaurants where the meal is enjoyed over a couple of hours, with adults for company and a varied discussion but the other thing is that people in my age group have young children which need supervision so they can't actually go out in the evening unless they get a babysitter and then every half hour or so they have to call to check on the kids, so in the end I think why bother and just go with my husband and enjoy each other's company.
The good thing about being away from your home country is that you get to spend so much quality time with your spouse and children, and you focus on them only and your spare time is for them only. I think for a family to bond they should have this sort of sabbatical from our regular social hectic life. This does not mean that I don't miss it, but I am grateful as well for this chance to be really close to my kids who are young adults Mashallah !
I really liked one comment made by a blogger some time back where he said that he thinks that blogging has become female rantings ! This comment is really brilliant and I congratulate whoever is behind it ! I think it truly describes blogging and why not !
I personally don't like to go into politics, or news so maybe the female rantings is the thing, I dont know, let's just wait and see....

HUNGRY

Saha, Shahrazad ! Your babkbuki really made me hungry. By the way I tried to write you a comment and after writing it wouldn't publish so I dont know why, something might stopping the publishing on your blog. I will keep my comment short except to say that my coworkers were drooling over the bakbuki, and they are all waiting for me to do something about it! Hmm, maybe I will have to ask them over, or bring it into the office, we will see.
To be told that I am suffering from depression just because I dont understand it when someone doesn't like to mix with people, well ......
I rest my case.

Prayer

Today, while sitting at my desk working and listening to the Egyptian Radio live broadcast, the Maghreb Adhan came on and I found myself listening with tears in my eyes. I never realised how much I missed actually hearing the Adhan at each prayer, and the Friday Khutba. When in Tripoli I lived near a Mosque, and listening to the Adhan was really beautiful, I remember on Friday specially when all the neighbours men would walk down the road with their white robes and the children following and playing along the way, the women waving at each other from the doorways and then making the family meal which will traditionally be Couscous. So you can imagine how hard it is when because of the cold you rush from one place to the other and don't even have time to stand and say hello, or enjoy the scenery which is quite breathtaking. The views are remarkable, the sunlight is dazzling, everything is nice but the most important thing missing is the human touch. Which is something I was discussing with a friend who used to be in Libya with her family, she made her husband give up a good position with great expat benefits just because there werent enough places to go to for eating , and she didn't like that people were trying to be friendly and always inviting them over etc... so I told her that I hate where I am at the moment because of exactly the lack of what she had plenty of ! She said she preferred to be left alone, and only go where she wants. I told her that this was the way that people show you how much they care and they thought they were being friendly and they didn't want her to be lonely or to be homesick, but our discussion was just a waste of time because she really did not understand it ! This makes me wonder why ? Why is it so strange that people actually want to make you feel welcome ? why is it considered that it is an imposition ? why is it uncomfortable to some when the whole purpose is thought to be good ? I am baffled ! I do understand that a person isn't always feeling social, but not always , and being in a strange environment would actually make you want some type of human contact, other than your immediate family, but like I always say it takes all kinds to make this world .

Thanks everybody

I would like to thank everyone who has posted a comment and assure you as well that I am not angry or anything like that, it is just that life is unfair . ...
We don't always get what we want, I remember the first time I had a fight with my husband and packed up my bags and gone to my parents, my father gave me till 6 p.m and then called me into the sitting room to be on our own, and said to me : I only have one question for you, so I said ok dad go ahead I am listening. His question was : The man you married, who's choice was it ? Of course I replied that it was my choice, so he said : I have nothing more to add, except to tell you that you just have to take your bags and go back to your house and sort it out there.
I sat there with my mouth hanging open , and my dad just opened the door to the sitting room and went out, I of course went straight to my mother in the kitchen and started crying that parents are supposed to stand by their daughter, and that my husband will never respect me because my parents did not give him hell, blah blah on and on until I finally understood that I am better off by going back to my house and ranting at my husband and not speak to him for about 2 weeks and then life just went back to normal. Since then I learned to never complain to my parents because they just weren't going to be involved. Now many years and 2 children later and being away from my country and parents, I am thinking that my dad is actually the greatest and my mother too of course, for not actually getting involved and letting us sort it out.
Amazingly enough my husband thinks that my parents are the greatest because they never got involved in our squirmishes, like so many of his friends who have to deal with the wife and her parents too, anyway to cut a story short, we all make choices and no matter how bad sometimes things are , I personally would never think of exchanging my life with someone else, I am just happy that I am alive and well and that things do happen and we can't always understand nor expect everybody else to understand, so if I was a bit on the flip side , please forgive me and I do apologise.
Now, I would love to post some photos, we have beautiful scenery here, but I have come to realise like my singing that I wasn't the best at photo taking which actually makes me want to take some classes ( whenever I have the time ) , In this life you are either artistic or not, so obviously I am not . I can describe what I see from my office window or the view from our appartment building, but of course it is not the same, all I can say is that everywhere you look the blinding glare of the sun on the white snow is unbelievable, the cold is cold, the air has a knife-like feel to it, the crunch sound under the tires or your shoes is just like crunch !
I am very excited about Shahrazad's cooking blog, I personally am a very good cook but I always like to learn new stuff, I would like Shahrazad to post a recipe for Fasouliah (Beans) the Libyan way, Macaroona Mbakbaka, Chicken Tajine with vegetables and Reshta.
I do miss Libya, the sounds and smells of the Souk Al Turk, all the weddings, baby sboua's, the Lama for no reason, the Eid get together, the Friday Zarda everything except my mother in law and her daughters, there I said it .. It is really amazing how much I abhore them , and if I start ranting about them it is a never ending story so I better not, just mentioning them started my blood boiling and like Music Lover said it is not worth getting all worked up and ending with an ulcer when the world is actually going on with or without me.
Life isn't always as we want it , but we should make the best of what we have.